Secure The Bag

I’ve declared that the rest of my days will be spent following my heart’s desires, being intentional about whom I share my time with, and being in real relationship with my favorite things. This region of InTheLandOfMara is dedicated to the fun of that promise and pursuit. And in this pursuit, I’ve found that you sometimes have to collaborate to get what you want. It’s funny, that phrase, “get what you want.”

It reminds me of a story my mother and I like to recount. It speaks of the time she asked me, at seven years old, what I wanted from a special trip to McDonald’s. I was clear: I wanted a cheeseburger, fries, and an orange drink. She returned with a quarter pounder, fries, and an orange drink. I looked into my bag before she ran out the door to her second job, and asked her where was my cheeseburger. She proudly declared that she got me a quarter pounder. “But that’s not what I wanted,” I told her. She explained that a “quarter pounder” was basically a cheeseburger, just bigger. “You’re getting more, Mara,” she tried to explain. “But that’s not what I wanted. You asked, and I said cheeseburger,” I reminded her.

Her face fell, disappointed that I didn’t accept her kindness. Aware that my single mother was already stretched thin, I told her that it was ok, and that I would just eat the fries. But the guilty mom worried that her daughter would go hungry, and I again tried to explain to her that I was fine. What I couldn’t articulate then, but that I can now, is that I simply wanted what I wanted. And though I appreciated her wanting to give me more, I was clear about the cheeseburger being superior due to its meat-to-bun-to-pickle ratio. The quarter pounder loses something special in each bite. Sure it’s bigger… but is it better? Clearly, not for me.

Stepping into my fifties, I’m reclaiming all the best parts of myself. I am returning to the discerning scrupulousness of that intentional child who wants what she wants, and is willing to do without until she gets it. There was something sacred and sage in my childish state of willful empowerment, of being unwilling to settle, even if the reasons why could not yet be explained.

So, at the start of 2021, with my new deal at Netflix, it was time for a new work bag — aka a traveling office. That’s the beauty of being a writer — no matter where I am, I can write. But my totes can’t just be any ol’ thing. Just like my offices and writing desks, my tote bag needs to be a sanctuary.

And inspiring. It matters to me what I use to carry around my most precious instruments: my computer, journals, pens, and power chords… The tools I use to hone my craft deserve to be housed in something beautiful. For I believe the beauty reflected around us will seep inside of us, and I pray that beauty will, in turn, become the ink in my pen.

This is how I knew that it was time to add a Sac by Agnes Baddoo to my tote collection. I went by her shop as an excuse to further vibe with my Muse. I saw the Sac I wanted immediately upon entry. This one.

“Stepping into my fifties, I’m reclaiming all the best parts of myself. I am returning to the discerning scrupulousness of that intentional child who wants whats she wants, and is willing to do without until she gets it.”

Mara Akil
Aged 2 Sac

It’s perfection. But it wasn’t for sale (the shock! In America?!), even after several asks, and my demonstrated willingness to pay more. She explained that her Sac wasn’t for sale, I could purchase the Sac in natural veggie tan leather [see pic], and that simply by living my life with my own years of wear and gentle use, I, too, would have my own unique Sac with it’s own story to tell.

But I didn’t like that one enough to ever use the Sac in order to begin to tell my own story. Shoulder shrug. Yes, Agnes is clear on her boundaries! I was clear on my choices: it was either do it Agnes’ way, steal her Sac… or collaborate with her. So… I asked if she could customize one for me. I’d wait the extra time, pay the extra cost for her to age the leather some, and then make the Sac. There was no shoulder shrug this time, it was more of a head nod and the look on one’s face when the wheels are already spinning. Gentle but authoritative. After a minute, Agnes, the savvy business woman and artist, said yes. Yes!

Check out Agnes’ website where she walks you through her journey in curating the leather to make these Sacs. There are only 27, stamped with our signatures, marking the journey of two IG friends who came together to make something of beauty, use, and quality.

All because I dared to be myself and want what I want. I am also someone who wants for others what I want for myself. Hence this inaugural offering of MY FAVORITE THINGS. It is a place to visit to see what I find out in the world and that you might like, too. I won’t make too many, because I am living the rest of my life intentionally. I don’t want to overproduce. I want only the people who love this Sac to have it, to really use it, and enjoy adding to the story of this Sac with their own, knowing the proceeds will help me to fund a Writers’ Colony community I’m building.

And there is the full circle: By seeking out only what I truly want (my favorite things), I now have a new friend and collaborator, a new work bag, and a way to help others. Trust your heart’s desires, they lead you on a journey to discover beautiful people, things and more of who you truly are.

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WORDS:  Mara Brock Akil
DATE:  03.30.2022
PHOTOS:  Heather Gildroy
  1. Barb says:

    Loved this!

  2. Joan Fullmore says:

    I learned a lot from you that day too Mara – learning to listen to what the person wants and not what I think they should have. Great lesson for all of my life. I also saw your strength in not compromising on issues that did not really require compromise, just discipline and patience. Bravo to you, that focus has taken you far and wide and you accomplished way more than I ever did because I unfortunately compromised my desires at an early age thinking they were a bother to others. At least I am proud I gave birth to you, and you took a better direction! Love you!

  3. Chandra says:

    I understood every word. It seems the more I push towards who I am becoming the more hell rise up against it. I use to think that meant what I was going for was wrong, but the wiser, growing 52 year old me understands it exactly the opposite. I am reclaiming those dreams. I picked up a camera and I submitted my first short. I was so excited to receive the rejection letter. I want what God told me was already mine. By the way I love the bag. ❣️

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