Secure The Bag

I’ve declared that the rest of my days will be spent following my heart’s desires, being intentional about whom I share my time with, and being in real relationship with my favorite things. This region of InTheLandOfMara is dedicated to the fun of that promise and pursuit. And in this pursuit, I’ve found that you sometimes have to collaborate to get what you want. It’s funny, that phrase, “get what you want.”

It reminds me of a story my mother and I like to recount. It speaks of the time she asked me, at seven years old, what I wanted from a special trip to McDonald’s. I was clear: I wanted a cheeseburger, fries, and an orange drink. She returned with a quarter pounder, fries, and an orange drink. I looked into my bag before she ran out the door to her second job, and asked her where was my cheeseburger. She proudly declared that she got me a quarter pounder. “But that’s not what I wanted,” I told her. She explained that a “quarter pounder” was basically a cheeseburger, just bigger. “You’re getting more, Mara,” she tried to explain. “But that’s not what I wanted. You asked, and I said cheeseburger,” I reminded her.

Her face fell, disappointed that I didn’t accept her kindness. Aware that my single mother was already stretched thin, I told her that it was ok, and that I would just eat the fries. But the guilty mom worried that her daughter would go hungry, and I again tried to explain to her that I was fine. What I couldn’t articulate then, but that I can now, is that I simply wanted what I wanted. And though I appreciated her wanting to give me more, I was clear about the cheeseburger being superior due to its meat-to-bun-to-pickle ratio. The quarter pounder loses something special in each bite. Sure it’s bigger… but is it better? Clearly, not for me.

Stepping into my fifties, I’m reclaiming all the best parts of myself. I am returning to the discerning scrupulousness of that intentional child who wants what she wants, and is willing to do without until she gets it. There was something sacred and sage in my childish state of willful empowerment, of being unwilling to settle, even if the reasons why could not yet be explained.

So, at the start of 2021, with my new deal at Netflix, it was time for a new work bag — aka a traveling office. That’s the beauty of being a writer — no matter where I am, I can write. But my totes can’t just be any ol’ thing. Just like my offices and writing desks, my tote bag needs to be a sanctuary.

And inspiring. It matters to me what I use to carry around my most precious instruments: my computer, journals, pens, and power chords… The tools I use to hone my craft deserve to be housed in something beautiful. For I believe the beauty reflected around us will seep inside of us, and I pray that beauty will, in turn, become the ink in my pen.

This is how I knew that it was time to add a Sac by Agnes Baddoo to my tote collection. I went by her shop as an excuse to further vibe with my Muse. I saw the Sac I wanted immediately upon entry. This one.